(The Residents are all lounging in the Apartment, save Roake, who's still out grocery shopping)
Daiyori: (sprawled out on the couch, as per usual, watching Jacob play Halo) so when is Roake getting back?
Jacob: how am i supposed to know? he needs to hurry up though.
Durithyll: no he does NOT!
(Durithyll's currently in the kitchen, trying to bake a cake -- from scratch)
Komasu: (trying to help out) Um, D, i think the cake needs to come out of the oven now...
Durithyll: what?! Komasu! i told you to get out of here! shoo! i wanna do this by myself!
Daiyori: well i want it to be EDIBLE!
Durithyll: it WILL be!! now shut up and let me do this!
Komasu: Durithyll... the cake's still in the oven...
Durithyll: Crap! see what you made me do!?
Daiyori: (sighs)
Roake: (opens the door, arms full of groceries) hey guys. i'm back--
Durithyll: NO!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!! (lunges over the counter and runs across the room, shoving Roake out the door) (slams the door as soon as Roake is out)
Roake: (very confused, and currently standing with his face two inches from the door) um... ok?
Daiyori: wow. and you're spazz.
Durithyll: shut up! i'm not ready!
Daiyori: and you won't BE ready for another twenty minutes. so what, you're going to make Roake stand out there for all that time?
Durithyll: um... no?
Daiyori: than let him in, dumb butt.
Durithyll: (pouts) fine. but you're still a jerk.
Daiyori: i try.
Roake: (still standing outside, very confused)
Durithyll: (slowly opens the door) ...you can come inside now.
Roake: ok... (steps cautiously around Durithyll) so what couldn't i see at first? (places the groceries on the counter)
Durithyll: (sighs) because it's Mom's day and all, i wanted to bake a cake or do something useful.
Jacob: she tried doing the laundry, but she swore the dryer was going to explode in her face!
Durithyll: it friggen was!! are you kidding me!?
Roake: (laughs) that's really nice and all, but last time i checked... i'm a guy.
Durithyll: well duh! oi! but you do all the mom-ish things around here! i'm mean, you JUST went out to get groceries! and you cook and clean, and do stuff like that.
Daiyori: that's because you refuse to do it.
Durithyll: shut up! the dryer is EVIL!
Daiyori: and the microwave?
Durithyll: DEMENTED!!! heh... dimentio... nevermind!
Jacob: (turns off the 360 -- GASP! -- and walks around the couch) Oh, and we got you this. (lightly tosses a black box to Roake)
Roake: (catches it) what is it?
Daiyori: like we're going to tell you?
Jacob: just open it! (lightly nudges Komasu with his elbow) it was Komasu's idea.
Komasu: shhh!
Roake: (smiles suspiciously)(opens it) oh my gosh... i cannot believe you guys... (reaches inside and pulls out a gold painted metal plaque in the shape of a police badge. Engraved on it is: Mr. M.O.M. -- Maturity Over Masculinity.)
Durithyll: (smiles) do ya liiiiiike it?
Roake: (sighs) of course i do.
Durithyll: than pin it on your shirt! (snatches it from Roake's hand and pins it on his shirt) there! beautiful! now you have to where it ALL day!
Roake: i figured. now... (points to Durithyll's icing-less cake) it take it that's the cake?
Durithyll: yes! it is! and you're not going to touch it until I'M done with it!
Roake: but you could--
Durithyll: NO! OUT!! (grabs Roake by the arm and pulls him away from the counter, runs to the other side and plants both arms firmly around each side of it) mine! so go away!!
Roake: (smiles) fine fine fine... can i at least finish the laundry that i assume no one else did?
Durithyll: no! you can't! Daiyori's getting it!
Daiyori: what! i am NOT!
Durithyll: yes you are! so git! (jabs her thumb towards the laundry room)
Daiyori: this is ridiculous...
Roake: (laughs softly as he watches Daiyori sulk away) (turns back to Durithyll) are you sure i can't at least--
Durithyll: NO!! just do something not helpful!!
Roake: (smiles as he puts his hands up in resignation) fine fine fine... i'll go sketch or something...
Durithyll: see? now was that so hard? and Roake? happy Mom's Day.
Roake: (smiles) Thanks.
-END
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: i know it's a day late... wah. but hey! at least i got SOMETHING! heehee! Roake is totally Mr. Mom!
Durithyll: yo! i just felt like posting a random blog because i CAN.Yay! Plus i haven't formally introduced you guys to the Residents yet!
Daiyori: (poofs in) great. now was this really necessary? EVERYONE knows who we are.
Jacob: (poofs in) yay! i'm the pretty boy, and he's the stingy, antisocial mooch!
Daiyori: at least i'm not whipped by my girlfriend.
Roake: (poofs in) (cuffs Daiyori upside the head)
Daiyori: ow! what is it with you and this sudden obsession with smacking people!?
Roake: Would you like to go back to the original?
~~ZAPP!~~
(Daiyori is now a smoldering pile of ashes)
Roake: (looks at Durithyll) was that really necessary?
Durithyll: not really. but do you really expect me to NOT zapp Daiyori in my FIRST blog entry? it's practically a tradition!
Roake: (shakes head) sigh...
Komasu: (poofs in) wha?
Durithyll: hey komasu! i'm just throwing everyone into this first blog entry for the sake of doing it!
Komasu: (looks around) where's Daiyori-- oh. (notices the ashes) why do you zapp him anyway?
Durithyll: Because! he's jerk! Whenever he insults me--
Jacob: which is alot.
Durithyll: --i zapp him!
Komasu: oh... so when are you going to unzapp him?
Durithyll: fine...
Daiyori: (is now unzapped) oi! i hadn't even said anything yet!
Durithyll: but you would have!
Daiyori: So!?
Durithyll: so i was just going to go ahead and zapp you!
Daiyori: what?! that's not fair! that's the stupi--
Roake: (clamps Daiyori's jaws shut) for the sake of your well-being, you need to stop spazzing.
Daiyori: !!!
Durithyll: anyway, (turns to the reader) while Roake is taking care of that... hi! i'm Durithyll! i'm 22, and currently a starving artist! This is Roake (points to Roake)
Roake: (waves with one hand, while using the other to keep Daiyori from getting himself zapped)
Durithyll: he's a fox and a crazy awesome painter and actually does that for a living. He's usually Daiyori's voice of conscience--
Jacob: And is Mr. Mom around here.
Roake: Why are you obsessed with calling me that?
Jacob: because it's hilarious! Durithyll's the one who started all this mess, so you think SHE'D be a little more helpful around the Apartment! but no! she can't even turn on the dryer!
Durithyll: Hey! that dryer is just demented!
Jacob: riiiiiight.
Daiyori: (spazzing even more under Roake's restraints due to the fact that Jacob wasn't zapped for insulting Durithyll, but HE was zapped IN ADVANCE)
Durithyll: whatever! you are such a-- hey. where's Komasu? (looks around. Komasu is no where to be seen in the main room of the Apartment)
Durithyll: (takes a deep breath) KOMASU! Get back here!!
(the closet door slowly creaks open. Komasu tentatively peeks her head out)
Komasu: y-yes?
Durithyll: (puts her hands on hips and taps her foot angrily) where do you think you're going?
Komasu: i, uh... i really needed to study for my history test on monday! i just... wanted to study for a... little bit...
Durithyll: you're "little bit" is four hours. come here. (grabs her by the arm and pulls her out of the closet, which is also her room)
Komasu: but i need to study!
Durithyll: Later! i always put things off till later! (turns back to the reader) ok, this, is Komasu! she's a bat and is currently in college. She's the youngest of us at 18 and she's also a Transformers fan! just like me! isn't that awesome!?
That's Jacob over there. He's a mechanic is completely and utterly whipped by his girlfriend, Mowo. Mowo is a cat and one of Livi's characters. They make the absolute CUTEST couple!! Anyway, hes a weasel. and a halo-obsessed gamer freak.
And last, but certainly not least, Daiyori! he's a dark grey snake and an absolute jerk!
Jacob: He's also a mooch.
Durithyll: what!? Daiyori is not a mooch!
Jacob: he's the ONLY one who doesn't have a job!
Durithyll: whatever! (turns back to the reader) he may seem jerkish, but he actually DOES care! he just hides it behind a mountain of snark. (claps hands together)
And i think that's all! now, i'm going--
Zatannii: what about me?
Jacob: WHAT!? ZATANNII!! (whirls around the room, trying to find him) Where are you!?
Zatannii: on the computer! (the monitor screen suddenly shifts to show a blonde headed guy with a perpetual smile on his face) hi!
Jacob: (picks up one of the bar stools, intending to throw it at the computer)
Roake: hey! (lets go of Daiyori and lunges at Jacob)
Daiyori: (gasps for air) finally! i can BREATHE!
Roake: (yanks the stool out of Jaocb's hands)
Jacob: you... you...
Zatannii: hang on! i'll be there in a second! (the monitor screen blips off and back on, showing what had previously been on there)
Durithyll: ...and that was Zatannii! We met when he downloaded himself into my computer! the confusing part though... is that he can magically show up as a human... No matter how many times we ask him HOW, HE NEVER ANSWERS. he just smiles and says--
Zatannii: --"But if i told you, you'd know!" (Zatannii walks into the Apartment from the front door) (waves) hi!
Jacob: will you get out of here!?
Zatannii: love you too Jacob! (turns to he reader) hi! i'm Zatannnii! and i'm a cop!
Durithyll: he never explains how he can be a (yells at Zatannii) POLICE OFFICER as well. So Zatannii is just one big--
Jacob: --homicidal, psychopathic SADIST!!
Durithyll: i was going to say mystery... anyway, if you want to know a little bit more on how Zatannii showed up, just read the Epic Comment Posting i currently have up. I don't have the whole thing up yet, but it should be up here soon! Start with the comment that was left by "Drogan" and read down.
now that that's out of the way--
Boredom: (poofs in) sigh... hi.
Durithyll: Boredom! you're here! (lunges at Boredom and glomps her)
Boredom: get off of me! (shoves Durithyll off)
Durithyll: (not the least but offended) hi!
Boredom: ug... (places hand on fore-head) Finale insisted i show up for your first blog entry on the new site.
Durithyll: really!? I feel loved!!
Boredom: hey! wasn't my idea!! Finale is forcing me!!
Durithyll: (didn't seem to take notice) Boredom is an Elemental. that means that she is one of the aspects of art. She is the source of all the inspiration in Here (Here is the name of the reality where the Residents and the Crew exist)! but she's a jerk too... she has a semi-sadistic side in the fact that she loves seeing artist's fail to reach their dead-line because of lack of inspiration. not to mention that when she gives inspiration, it's by hitting you really hard upside the head with the "Glove of Inspiration."
The Elementals can be a bit confusing! For each aspect of art, theres an Elemental. Like there's Imagination, Artist Block, Finale, and a bunch of others! They live above all we mortals in a seperate reality the Mystery Mansion. Thery're also responsible for the creation of new realities.
If you still don't get it, just ask!
Ok, now, i REALLY need to go!
Daiyori: no you don't. you just want to fix yourself a cup of coffee.
Durithyll: that's urgent! it's past nine o'clock and i STILL haven't had my coffee yet!! so i REALLY need to go!
If any of you guys have any questions, just ask!
-D
LEVEL OF CANON: 2 -- CHARACTER CANNON
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